Sex, relationships, and menopause

Perimenopause symptoms, and the stresses that they bring, can play havoc with our relationships. GSM can be very challenging for sexual health and sex in our relationships.

Dr Angela Wright is a GP, Menopause Specialist and Clinical Sexologist. She is particularly interested in improving sexual function and menopausal symptoms in women who have undergone cancer treatment. We started by talking about the impact of localised (vaginal) oestrogen vs what systemic HRT does – both for GSM (genitourinary syndrome of menopause) and for sexual dysfunction. She goes on to explain that there is no increase in recurrence risk for oestrogen receptor positive breast cancers when using localized oestrogen to treat symptoms (and that it can be used alongside letrozole and tamoxifen). We discuss the need for patients to be able to make an informed choice about risks vs benefits, which can be challenging when healthcare professionals are not taught to understand the impact that GSM and sexual dysfunction can have on quality of life – certainly male sexual dysfunction gets a lot more attention and usually pretty rapid treatment!

Angela gives an overview of what self-care practices can be helpful for someone struggling with GSM. She also explains that a range of prescription medicines (in particular antidepressants, but also antihistamines, and blood pressure medication) can mess with our sexual responsiveness, so could be something to discuss with our healthcare provider.

Clare Bourne is a specialist pelvic health physiotherapist and the author of ‘Strong Foundations: Why pelvic health matters, an empowering guide to your body.’ In this episode we cover: why our full life story – from childhood onwards – is critical in getting a full picture of our pelvic floor health; constipation in childhood and later in life and why this is so important to address; the importance of oestrogen for our pelvic floor health; why kegels are just one tool in the toolkit and what is the bare minimum she recommends we do daily; and prolapse – it’s more common than you think, and how to advocate for yourself with your GP

Emerald May is an international Embodied Sex, Intimacy & Breathwork Coach. In this warm and wide-ranging interview we cover topics including: patterns of disconnect and waning of desire in longer term relationships; how little we are taught when we are growing up around expressing our desires (especially if socialized as female); new relationships in midlife are a chance to avoid repeating same patterns and mistakes and learn about our needs; sex and intimacy doesn’t happen in a vacuum – all relationships take work, even the one we have with ourselves, and it’s easy to fall into not prioritizing intimacy, especially if we happen to have children around the house!; spontaneous desire – and why scheduling time for intimacy is essential.

This time it’s personal…! I sat down with my husband Stephen, to get a partner's view of peri/menopause...we talk about how his fears of menopause have been (mostly) unfounded, how the male urge to fix things isn't always the most helpful approach to perimenopause, and some tips for how to actually support someone in your life if they are struggling in peri/menopause. 

Sam Evans runs Jo Divine - an online store selling skin-safe sex toys and irritant-free lubricants. For Sam herself, using the products they stock led to the discovery that ingredients in the lubes she had been using were the cause of her recurrent thrush and other infections, which cleared up within a week of using 'skin-safe' products. Tune in to find out why glycerin, parabens, and polypropylene glycol are all things you do NOT want on your lady parts... As a trained nurse, and now writer on sexual health and pleasure, Sam dispenses advice not just on her Instagram account, but daily through the Jo Divine email and phone line. With happy customers well into their 90s, Jo Divine is proof that the fun doesn't have to stop, if you have the right tools!